PARIS - A tense world situation grew even more tense tonight, with news that Israel has attacked the practice space of controversial French soccer star Zinédine Zidane.
This explosive yet seemingly inevitable development comes one week after Zidane headbutted an Italian player at World Cup, and three days after the strike on South Lebanon by Israeli forces.
So far, it is believed that Mr. Zidane was unharmed in tonight's raid, as he was apologizing elsewhere when the bombs struck. But the symbolic import of this unprecedented clash between Mideast powerhouse and midfield power player can not be overstated.
Many longtime Middle East observers are tonight asking "Why?" Why would Israel choose to assault a French soccer compound when it's already fighting a two-front war in its home region? My sources in Jerusalem list these reasons:
1) Mr. Zidane is a Muslim - a strong, agile Muslim given to provocative gestures. While he's never explicitly called for the destruction of Israel, he's never explicitly not called for it either.
2) The practice space in question may be a hiding place for Hamas and Hezbollah secret agents, many of whom must have been encouraged by the hero's welcome Zidane received after the headbutting incident.
3) As it never qualified for this year's World Cup, Israel is in a unique position to take a stand against poor sportsmanship.
4) It's the weekend - time to cut loose.
Now, more background on the participants in tonight's match, Zizou vs. the Zionists.
First, Israel:
• It's been playing internationally since 1948.
• Nickname(s): "The Jewish state"; "The Jewish homeland".
• Playing style: It's been known to be a bit aggressive on the field...
...but sometimes it makes nice.
And Zinédine Zidane:
• He's been playing internationally since 1994.
• Nickname(s): Zizou; Butthead.
• Playing style: He's been known to be a bit aggressive on the field...
...but he too sometimes makes nice.
Good luck, gentlemen (and ladies)!
We'll have more on this story as events develop.........
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