NK Nukes: A Solution

News from the Far East put a lot of people on edge this week. Following the long holiday weekend, North Korea's pint-sized Stalinist dictator popped up to remind an administration preoccupied with Iraq and Iran that you can't spell "Axis of Evil" without the "Il". Now the world holds its breath, hoping international condemnation can back down the most seriously bouffanted threat to hit the Asian continent since Gary Glitter.

Will tough talk, combined with diplomacy, do the trick? Can the president resolve this crisis? Can the UN?

I doubt it. But there is someone who could help, and it just so happens she's already a diplomatic force.



Now I realize Mrs. Jolie-Pitt is busy these days, having just given birth to the first product of naturally conceived genetic engineering. No doubt she has many major film projects in the pipeline, as well as responsibilities to her other children, which she adopted once Mia Farrow could no longer financially support them. But pardon me, I think saving the world from nuclear annihilation is a little more important.

By all accounts, Kim Jong is quite the ladies' man as well as a major movie buff. Being across the negotiating table from perhaps the most beautiful film actress of modern times would surely make him think twice about firing off missiles outside his own personal airspace, if you know what I mean.

And after that, who knows where things might lead?



Now I'm not advocating that Jolie permanently leave Brad, Hollywood and her ten biracial deaf orphan children to head off an arms race. But I do think "Jongelina" would be the celebrity coupling to end all celebrity coupling. A year or two as concubine to the ruler of an unstable regime would show that Jolie - and by extension, the entertainment community - is really serious about making a difference. Just like Clark Gable and Jimmy Stewart, who suited up to do battle with the original Axis menace, it's time for today's Hollywood royalty to sacrifice for the good of humanity.

After that, what could Jennifer Aniston possibly complain about?

Adieu for today!