Sometimes the news seems too good to be true....but it is true: Martha Stewart is taking over The Apprentice! Yes! Pack your bags, Donald Trump, 'cus --- well, I forget the phrase, but you're not coming back next season. And congrats, Martha. I think later on I'll dip a finger in some ink to symbolize this new berth of liberty. And afterwards, I'll wipe it off on a doily made from your instructions!
This is a truly historic announcement, for at least a couple of reasons. One, ex-cons normally have a hard time finding employment, much less getting to star in a major television series. Second, the selection of a female Apprentice host marks a major step toward equality in America's conception of sleazy billionaires. I only hope Martha doesn't compromise her own unique sense of style and class just to conform to audience expectations.
But probably the biggest kudos must go to NBC itself. That 'ol peacock has a heart of gold - and big brass ones too. With this decision, they are stepping into the void left by organizations like the United Way and Boys Town USA. Giving a former inmate a second chance may not be the most commercially profitable avenue a network can take but it's certainly the most compassionate. I can't wait to see the rest of next year's lineup - Fear Factor hosted by Christian Brando?
Here's an address where you can write to NBC and congratulate them on this decision:
National Broadcasting Company, INC.
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112-0002
Also, ask them why they've never aired my pilot. But don't sound too indignant; one nasty letter from a Lomblogiac gives a bad name to all Lomblogiacs.
As for you, Martha.....well, if I weren't banned from the state of West Virginia for badmouthing John Denver, I'd be waiting at the prison gates ready to drive you to Burbank right now.
Until we meet again,
Lombaire Fan
2 comments:
Possum tamers downunder, UNITE!
Lomblogicalpositivism is the new faux fur.
Our equivalent of a Martha Stewart is an ex-Fish'N'Chip Shop Proprietoress/Bodacea Goddess ... Pauline (please explain?) Hanson.
Thank heavens for free speech ... and ... the Final Trump is laid to rest ... long live the Apprenticess
Thank you for your comment, livre - may I call you LDT? I'm always pleased to have an international perspective added to these proceedings, which is not to say that I myself lack worldliness. But it's quite an education. I really had no idea Martha's fame extended to people on the other side of the globe. I just hope you're getting the truth out of your state-run media. If not, well, you can always come here for the real story.
P.S. - If anyone could make a tasty possum stew, it would be Martha.
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