Vatican Election: All Robed Up

Yes, friends, it's all over but the tears - and endless harangues against abortion and homosexuality. A new pope has been selected. In honor of this occasion, I am officially changing my handle to "Lombaire Fan the First". It's a meaningless title that has no historical precedent, but as they say, "When in Rome..."

That's right, like most of the press, I've been camped out in Vatican City awaiting word from the College of Cardinals. There were a few false alarms on Monday and Tuesday, when what appeared to be puffs of grey smoke rose from the Sistine Chapel, indicating either deadlock or a visit by actor-comedian Tommy Chong. The smoke signals are of course one of the Vatican's oldest traditions, when all ballots are burned to signify a decision - the same process used by the Ohio Elections Board. But at 6:00 PM AD, the result became official:



Taking the balcony to the strains of Tina Turner's "(You're Simply) The Best", Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was made the 265th Pope - and the 264th that most people won't remember too well. He has selected as his moniker "Benedict XVI" - coincidentally, the name of Michael Jackson's youngest son. For the Holy Father-Elect, this is clearly the dream of a lifetime. At 78, he's taking on the arduous task of slowing social progress more than any other pontiff in Vatican history. It's a tall order but he certainly has the credentials and confidence to rise to the occasion.

Coming up: Polling the Papists