Out Of Italy; Pope Fans

On Monday I returned from my Roman sojourn with a heart full of memories, a stomach full of pasta and a head full of ecclesiastical cant. Or something like that. Now that I'm back, I'd like to first thank the Vatican staff for being so cooperative; there probably hasn't been a host as accomodating since Paula Abdul. In fact, everyone in town was totally cool. They call it Vatican City, but for me, this was the true "Magic Kingdom" - with extra props for not having John Paul embalmed or frozen.

But beyond the momentousness of this papal transition, I think what I appreciated most were the regular people I met along the way. Having spent a fair chunk of my pseudo-adulthood in the secular/Satanic world of Hollywood, it was refreshing to be among folks whose lives are grounded in sincere faith. Foremost among them were two young men who traveled thousands of miles to witness the new Pope's official start.



Rick Boitan, 25, and Dave Boyer, 34, are probably the biggest Pope fans you could ever meet. Only the Vatican itself holds more papal memorabilia than Rick and Dave's bedrooms. Being something of an obsessive collector-type myself, I don't think I really understood the Pope's appeal until I caught up with these two. Luckily, I happened to have a tape recorder on hand to capture this one-of-a-kind outbreak of Benedictine fever:

LOMBAIRE FAN: Hey guys. Nice costumes.

RICK: Thanks. My mother sewed this for me.

LOMBAIRE FAN: But wait - what's that? A light-saber?

RICK: No! It's a holy cross.

DAVE: Helps us fend off evil.

LOMBAIRE FAN: I'm curious - I see the sleeping bag and all....how long have you been camped out here?

DAVE: Well, the minute we heard a new pope was coming out, we knew we had to be here.

LOMBAIRE FAN: So ever since the smoke rose from the Sistine Chapel?

RICK: No! July '04. The really hardcore fans find out early.

LOMBAIRE FAN: Wow, that's a long time. After such a long wait, are you worried that Benedict XVI won't live up to the legacy of John Paul II?

DAVE: No, not at all. I don't really think about whether the new pope will be as good as the last; I'm just pleased that the series will continue.

RICK: Yeah, to the people that criticize, I always say, Let's see you lead a worldwide branch of Christianity! If you can sustain a following like this, then you can complain!

LOMBAIRE FAN: How long have you been fans of the papacy?

RICK: Me? My mother took me to see PJP: II in Seattle when I was just four. I still remember it. Seeing the Popemobile in person - not a scale model - it was awesome. A lot of his pronouncements I didn't really understand but I think I knew even then that the Pope was badass.

DAVE: Of course I'm a little older than Rick so I go back a ways. When the Pope was shot...well, that was a classic moment. It was really like a climactic battle between good and evil, with a young man rising to challenge his Holy Father...the Pope sorta dangling on the precipice......but what do you know? He survives and comes back for the next mass. And eventually they reconcile.

LOMBAIRE FAN: I take it you're really well-versed in Vatican history.

RICK: Oh yeah. I'm familiar with it all, even the old stuff - the pre-encyclicals.

LOMBAIRE FAN: Any favorites?

DAVE: I always thought it was pretty cool when Piux X was canonized. I mean, he's been dead for four decades and suddenly his body is dug up and on open display - what a twist! But that's the beauty of this weird alternate universe St. Peter created.

LOMBAIRE FAN: So how much of your fandom is actually based on your Catholic beliefs?

DAVE: Huh? I'm not Catholic.

RICK: Me neither - I'm Lutheran.

LOMBAIRE FAN: Wait a minute....isn't there a conflict?

RICK: How? We're fans, not followers. You can worship the Pope, without "worshipping" the Pope.

DAVE: Yeah, don't you understand? What are you - a religious bigot?

LOMBAIRE FAN: I've just never heard of this before.

DAVE: Well, I'm sorry. It's ok.....hey Rick, just for fun do you think you could recite the new Pope's opening homily? In Latin?

RICK: Sure. Benedicticus....willrockicus....yourlameassicus.

RICK & DAVE: (high fives)

LOMBAIRE FAN: Nice job. Enjoy the new papacy, gentlemen.