The Language Amendment Amendment

Last night, I said I would have more to say on the topic of immigration and national identity. Here goes ...

A few months ago, the Senate passed an amendment declaring English the "national language" of the United States. Today, I'd like to propose an amendment to that amendment.

It would read something like this:

"While the Government of the United States has declared English the official language, a few select English words should, for the remainder of calendar year 2006, be used with extreme caution.

Any verbal communication in public that combines the following terms is officially frowned upon:

(1) 'Snakes'
(2) 'On'
(3) 'Plane'
(4) A popular four-syllable obscenity which Congress does not deign to repeat in government documents.

Violation of this resolution will carry no official sanction, unless the offender is a white male between the ages of 18-35 who utters said words while approximating an African-American male dialect. Such parties could receive a jail sentence."

I've have a petition you can sign later on ...