Yaleville Part 2

As promised, Part Two of Yaleville.



Lana notices Joe's condition.

LANA LODGE: What's wrong, Joe?? You're turning pale! I was really just kidding about you being a Republican. Besides, it's not such a bad thing. Do you know Hillary Rodham? She used to be a Goldwater girl!

Joe continues to stumble and begins coughing up blood. Just then, a hologram from the future appears. It's US Senator John McCain (R-Arizona).



MCCAIN-EL: Joe....

JOE: (quietly) McCain-El!

MCCAIN-EL: You must be strong now, Joe. You were put here for a reason: to make the two parties virtually indistinguishable.

JOE: Help me, McCain-El!

MCCAIN-EL: I can't help you now, Joe - my plane was shot down and I'm currently being tortured in Hanoi. But one day we'll both be in the Senate, where we'll work on high-profile legislation and never, never turn down a TV appearance. However, we must not let anyone know our true identities. If anyone finds out we're half-Democrat, half-Republican and we both escaped from the planet Krypto-neocon, our political careers on Earth will be over. Got it?

JOE: Yes, McCain-El.

MCCAIN-EL: Never lose heart, Joe. Remember why you're LieberBoy: to grandstand for Truth, Justice, the insurance industry and Bi-Partisan Accommodation. And against dirty song lyrics.

McCain fades out.

As Joe regains his strength, he hears music from Lana's turntable. Bursting out of his suit, he emerges in full red-and-blue LieberBoy regalia and utilizing his "blow-hard" ray, fires radioactive heat at Lana's spinning copy of Morrison Hotel.

LANA LODGE: (Startled) Joe! I borrowed that from a friend! And what are you doing in that ridiculous costume??

JOE: I'm sorry, Lana - this is the real me.

LANA LODGE: Who designed that outfit anyway? Look, there are threads hanging loose and everything is off-center --

JOE: It was made by a friend of mine, George W. Bush.

LANA LODGE: George Bush?! The cheerleader? Where is he these days? Last I heard, he was off in Texas pretending to be a fighter pilot.

JOE: (Gravely) His grandfather used to be a senator from this state. His family has a long tradition at Yale. We criticize him at our own peril. (NOTE: In later episodes, Bush will be revealed as the evil villain Not-So-Brainiac)

LANA LODGE: I really don't get it. You burned my record. Meanwhile, Bush makes you look like a fool, and you still refuse to criticize him?! You have a really curious idea of friendship! You're right - you really are different than the other Democrats. Why don't you - why don't you - just GET OUT!!!

JOE: (Smiling) So can I count on your vote?

In the next installment, LieberBoy reverses the Earth's axis to prevent his name being deleted from Al Gore's BlackBerry.