Saturday, November 27, 2004

Healing The Divide

Some of you may be wondering what ol' LF has been up to these last few weeks. It just so happens that I've been putting the finishing touches on a very special project. With so much of the country divided these days between red and blue, church and state, Desperate Housewives and desperately seeking a visa, I felt it was time to reach across this great chasm of ours and say, in the eloquent parlance of Vice President Cheney, "Chasm, go f*%# yourself." Because when you get right down to it, despite our many differences, we are all still Americans....for now.

That's why I'm pleased to announce the launch of a publication that I hope will soon become a meeting ground for the ardently faith-based and the rigorously analytical. Whether your muse is Galilieo or the Gospels, Darwin or Dobson, I think you'll find more than a few Good Words in the pages of this new magazine:




For those cynical among you, this is not a crass attempt to exploit an emerging niche market. It is a sincere, good-faith effort to introduce rationality and progress to the the world of those that believe in the Scriptures as literal fact. My contribution to this first issue - an exclusive interview with singer Pat Boone, in which he discusses his attempts to convince the dying Carl Sagan to renounce the Big Bang Theory - is rather small. But if I have played some small role in cooling the flames of national division.....well, I'll feel like I've done a little bit of God's work myself.

Praise the Lord and pass the petri dish - the spirit is with me!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Yasir, We Hardly Knew Ye

Yesterday, a remarkable individual passed away. As one who has championed the cause of Palestinian statehood ever since it was first explained to me, the loss of Yasir Arafat hit me at gut level. Me and the Big Y may not have agreed on every issue - such as the use of terrorism to advance political aims - but he sure had my respect. A larger than life figure, Arafat's passing leaves a void in the Middle East, which can be filled with just so much death and destruction. But it won't be the same without him.

I think all of us will remember where we were and what we were doing when we first heard the news that Yasir was dead. I was driving to a 2 pm showing of Shark Tale. I felt sad - for Mrs. Arafat and the Palestinian people. As sad as I was that day, I was even sadder the second time I learned of his death, three days later. Actually, I don't remember what I was doing; the second and third Arafat "deaths" have kind of blurred together in my mind. Oh! - I was polishing my new end table. And the third time? Well, I'm pretty sure I just had the tv on in the background and wasn't paying a whole lot of attention. "Ho hum, Arafat's dead again" - no, seriously, if I had been watching, I'm sure I would've been very distraught.

So thank you, Yasir, for your steady leadership in times of change. We may not have always agreed with you, or even known whether you were alive or dead, but we always knew where you stood. And for that, you'll always have an uncontested homeland in our hearts.


Monday, November 08, 2004

Election (Very) Post-Mortem

Your old friend LF here, returning from my five-day post-election bender. Right now I'm feeling as hungover and weathered as Yasir Arafat's head-dress. And let's face it, the chances of either of us being seen on White House grounds again are looking pretty slim. But I did manage to file one more report from the campaign trail Tuesday evening. Of course, it was based on preliminary exit polls that later proved inaccurate, so I've had to make a few minor revisions....

Well, the people have spoken and it appears they've said a resounding no to four more years of President George W. Bush Senator John F. Kerry. Though he campaigned energetically to the end, Bush Kerry wasn't able to overcome the rising tide of voter anger contentment. Americans were in a mood for change, not more of the same, and ready to turn the page on a blind eye toward chronic job losses, out-of-control deficits, chaos in Iraq and the shame not-so-big-deal of Abu Gharib. With all the mechanisms of power at his disposal, Bush Kerry finally couldn't defeat an ironclad rule of all re-election races: results do don't matter.

The outcome was tight and long in doubt, but events at campaign's close likely tipped the balance. When Osama Bin-Laden reappeared on videotape just three days before the election, it highlighted the fact that after four years as president twenty years in the Senate, Bush Kerry had failed to make America safer by capturing the terrorist mastermind responsible for 9-11. Nor had he spelled out a vision for a potential second term presidency beyond more large tax cuts for the wealthy middle class, lawyer - CEO bashing and embracing opposing the religious right's cultural agenda. Instead he waged a campaign of fear: fear of Kerry Bush, fear of terrorism a possible draft and fear of a "flip-flopping" "Massachusetts liberal" "reckless, arrogant" Republican incumbency. Probably the campaign's pivot point was the first debate, where in contrast to Mr. Kerry's Bush's poised, confident performance, Bush Kerry seemed flustered, defensive, reduced to the tedious recitation of a single catchphrase: "It's hard work" "I have a plan". From then on, it was straight downhill.

The election may have turned on negative feelings about Mr. Bush Kerry and concerns about the nation's direction, but with a brand-new old chief executive committed to making a fresh start hell, there are reasons to be cautiously delusionally optimistic. Kerry Bush is, after all, an authentic war hero president who understands undermines the combat experience. During his political career, he's demonstrated a willingness to work with smear politicians from both sides, such as Senator John McCain of Arizona. As a senator president, the environment has always been a high low priority for him. He's committed to advancing opposing scientific research. Having traveled the world since he was a youth fifty-five-year-old, President Kerry Bush can perhaps repair completely destroy our fractured global alliances. Yes, now's the time for all Americans white evangelical Christians and voters earning over $100,000 a year to get behind their leader. Certainly, he will need all the help he can get, as he faces a hostile lapdog Congress and several difficult challenges consonants.

So congratulations, President-Elect Kerry President Bush on your remarkable victory. You truly have a mandate for sweeping change banning gay marriage. As a wise man once said, "Bring it on!" "Mission accomplished!"

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Election Night

Well, it's election night in these United States and you can feel the tension in the air. The results are just now trickling in, but here at Lomblog we are absolutely commited to not declaring a winner until all the votes are counted. Which means we should be able to project a victor by March 7, 2006. Still, we come prepared.

If Senator Kerry wins tonight, you'll see a graphic much like this one:




But if President Bush gets four more years, this is what you might see:




More to come...