HTML Tags Of Evil

Yesterday, it was brought to my attention that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad now has his own blog. No, really.

This is a big development. Even those who heretofore downplayed the importance of blogs must admit the medium has come a long way in just a few short years. I believe President Ahmadinejad is the first government leader to share his thoughts in a widely available personal journal since Joseph Stalin in the late 1940's.



Now, unlike a lot of people, I haven't been a strong critic of Iran's new leader. In fact, I've always admired his personal style, which is kinda mod Sonny Bono. People call him a "madman", but to me, the jury is still out; for instance, he's yet to claim responsibility for the death of Jon-Benet Ramsey. When I first heard about his blog, I was completely ready to say, "Congrats, Mahmoud, and welcome to the mullahsphere."

But after having perused his site, well...let's just say that smoke you see is coming from my ears, not my laptop.

Ahmadinejad.jr - or as it shows up in my browser, ???????? - is an almost 100% rip-off of Lomblog. As they say on the Net, let's go to the screen capture:



Check it out. You have a sidebar, a poll, some links, and a photo of Mahmoud. Now, look closely at that photo: let's see.....he's sitting in a chair, he's casually dressed, he's sporting tres contemporary - and very rakish - facial hair.

Come now, who does that remind you of? Hint: scroll up. Scroll...keep scrolling, and look at the left-hand side of your screen.

Ok, I'm going to assume there's something wrong with your neck, or your mouse, and you can't do that. So here's a side-by-side comparison:



Yes, I couldn't believe it at first either. But faster than you could say "enriched uranium", there it was.

And a web poll too! Who's been doing polls on his site for more than two years? Hint again: the guy who's not being watched by the UN.

Mahmoud, I know what you're up to. Don't play the unsophisticated tyrannical rube with me. There's nothing wrong with paying homage to an earlier, greater peer. But thievery without credit or at least a place on the links list violates all the rules of blogging.

Sure, I might profit if I copied a few things from you. My traffic would surely spike if I dubbed the US "the Great Satan", called for the destruction of Israel or said the Holocaust was a "myth". But, in the parlance of today's youth, that's not the way I "roll". Unlike some who do what I do, I have a code of ethics embedded in my moral template. It's a code that reads "script=thou shalt/not steal".

Unfortunately, Ahmadinejad's blog has no e-mail link. I don't blame him; I'm sure he's tired of getting that "72 Virgins Want To Meet You In Heaven Now!!!" spam. But he does have a comments section. So if you could, please follow this link and tell the president of Iran to stop ripping me off.

The Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the One, the Only,

LF

Outing Bloggers



Allow me to get meta for just a moment. Lately, a few of my compatriots in what I call the "non-Lomblogosphere" have been "outed" by the news media - exposed as real people with lives and careers away from the Internet. A few were even revealed to have done work that related directly to the people and topics they've blogged on. Luckily, I've taken precautions to avoid this kind of conflict. Namely, I have no life and no career. It's a drastic step, but that's the price one pays to avoid the appearance of impropriety.

Still, I have great sympathy for bloggers who've found their private and professional lives the subject of media scrutiny. It seems this kind of thing is the result of the increasing influence of blogs and the fact that many journalists regard us as a threat of some kind. Why? I don't know. I honestly think that blogs may be the best thing to happen to the news media since Gutenberg invented the printing press and Ben Franklin invented the staple-gun. Thanks to blogs, the reporters and columnists who constitute the establishment press have a whole new audience for their work. And while most of that audience is busy composing expletive-filled hate mail, some will be readers and subscribers for many years to come.

Fortunately, a few people in the big media "get it" and are mature enough to handle the kind of intelligent critique blogs and blog-readers provide.

As David Brooks of the New York Times said to me in a recent e-mail:

Thank you very much for your thoughtful response to my recent column on Iraq. By the way, how did you know my wife is double-jointed?

But back to the topic at hand: should bloggers who'd like to remain anonymous expect cooperation from the news media? For my part, I honestly believe that anonymity is critical to what we do. Blogs like this give voice to the voiceless, the powerless and often, the pantless. Without the cover anonymity provides, dialogue on the Net would be as stilted and lifeless as it is on the nation's editorial pages. In fact, I think the editorial pages should take their cues from blogs. It'd be really cool if every Friday the editors of the Washington Post stopped publishing articles on Social Security reform or the future of the Democratic party and instead printed a bunch of cute pictures of their Calico kittens Fransisca and Princess Fluffytoes. That's when we'd know the "blogovolution" was fully in effect.

Until then, this is one blogger steadfastly guarding my identity from both the Old Media and those nasty people at the DMV.

Anonymously yours,

LF

Memo To CBS: Stop The Lies

Now that Rathergate has seemingly run its course, much of the blogger hierarchy is taking a well-deserved victory lap. And we all know what happens when bloggers celebrate - Blockbuster has a run on hentai. But as much as I'd like to join the party, I just can't. Not when CBS continues to mislead the public.

Last night, I caught a few minutes of the travesty the network dubs its "top-rated sitcom":




No, that title is not a forgery; the series is actually called Everybody Loves Raymond. You'd think CBS would know by now not to make such bold claims until all the evidence has been substantiated. But apparently not. I guess the boys in the network brass find fakery acceptable as long as it contains a laugh track.

Once again, we are left with a series of unsettled and unsettling questions. How did the voices of dissent fall through the cracks - specifically, those that like Raymond but find his delivery mildly irritating? Or people without cable who merely tolerate Raymond because the only alternative is football. Did anyone at the Big Eye take the time to interview them? What about the millions unamused by observational comedy about family life? How about viewers that enjoy Raymond, but find the performances of Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle "too schticky"? Until CBS names its sources for Everybody and verifies the claim that they "love" Raymond, I will make this my personal hobby horse even if it results in only a miniscule increase of daily traffic.

Giddy up! Ol' LF is riding this one right into bigtime bloggerville!

Rather Duped

A sad day for American journalism. Tonight, we learned officially that CBS has lived up to its initials. Dan Rather apologized for his 60 Minutes 2 report on the president's National Guard service, admitting that the network can not "verify" documents central to the story. Now personally, I don't see why this is such a big deal. I haven't verified half the things I've posted, and no one's asking me to resign. But of course, the standards are higher for a major network, even one that once depicted Angela Lansbury as a homicide sleuth. Sadly, this scandal means we may never know the truth about President Bush's Guard duty. Did he really use his father's influence to avoid Vietnam and then skip out on his last year of flight training? Oh, wait....we've known that for years. But now we may never have some hard-to-make-out photocopied memorandums proving what we've known all along. A real tragedy.

The kudos for breaking this story go to the many conservative bloggers who questioned the memos' authenticity just seconds after the original program aired. No one's scoped out a fake that fast since my exclusive "BRITNEY SPEARS: BREASTS NOT REAL" post immediately after the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards. Nice going, right-wing Internet guys; have another assault weapon on me! Your knowledge of 1970s typography is truly astounding...and pretty depressing.

This is just one more example of blogs getting out in front of major news well before the establishment press. Just look at some of the big stories blogs have broken this year:

· Robert K's pugs




· Jeff Milner's new haircut




· p3anut hates her new classes and really likes Chinese food




· And a very special night in the life of Instapundit




What of Rather himself? Well, my sources say the hard-hitting anchorman with the catchy Texas folk sayings is hoppin' mad. Who can blame him? After learning he was duped, he was probably more enraged than a rattlesnake drowning in a drainage ditch. Especially now, when he finds his credibility more tattered than a wasp flappin' its wings against a windshield wiper. And as he contemplates forced retirement, he's probably imagining a scene more liquored-up and tearful than a Tijuana campfire. As for the Republicans, they got to be happier than a coon hound lapping up toilet water. And President Bush? No telling, but I'm guessing he's....relieved like an incumbent realizing the mainstream media will be even more cowed into obedience. It's just like my Aunt Sally used to say, "Damnit, this homily-making is hard!"

100% authentic,

LF

Lomblog And Race

I don't publicly respond to reader e-mails very often, or even read them, but I recently received a message too sensitive and important for even me to ignore. It involves the issue of race. The e-mail comes from an African-American Lomblog visitor who calls himself "Concerned":

Dear LF,

Is it just me or is your site a little lacking in diversity? It seems like the only black in Lomblog is in the color scheme of your template. The discussion of issues involving racial minorities is always in the most superficial manner possible, though to be fair, this isn't different from your discussion of most topics. I'm certainly not accusing you of racism but it seems like Lomblog and Lombaire Fan orbit an ultra-privileged, lily-white netherworld where blacks and browns don't exist - except, quite literally, as cartoons. Have you considered taking any steps to make your site more welcoming and relevant to non-whites?

Concerned

First, let me just say this is exactly the kind of constructive criticism I appreciate. In fact, if I received more e-mails like this from my readers, I wouldn't have so many of you on block.

But in response - where to begin. "An ultra-privileged, lily-white netherworld" - oh, how I wish! Honestly, I am very in tune with the black community, enough that I don't feel the need to flaunt this connection like, say, the editors of Vibe. I know the first defense any white person accused of insensitivity resorts to is that old "some of my best friends..." bit, but truly, some of my best friends - as of this writing - are black. So your concerns, Concerned, are completely unfounded in my case, though in general, very well-founded.

If it seems I inhabit a world where African-Americans and Hispanics don't exist...well, this is called "the Internet." Sadly, there are probably more Americans of the Hobbit persuasion blogging on a regular basis than prominent minorities. Until the digital divide is bridged, I would personally favor an affirmative action program for bloggers who come from historically disadvantaged groups (but please, no special favors for people whose #1 disadvantage is "being targeted by the Borg"). Of course, such a proposal is not without controversy; no doubt there would be angry cries of "reverse discrimination" from the hordes of socially inept, acne-ridden, pajama-clad malcontents that make up roughly 80-90% of the blog-publishing world. For now, I will never hesitate to speak out on minority issues that I have at least a half-understanding of. But I think you would agree there are numerous others offline who can (and do) write about black America far more incisively than I, whether it's Toni Morrison, Michael Eric Dyson, or Abigail Van Buren.

Thanks again for your e-mail, Concerned. It's rare to see this kind of frank exchange on race anywhere in society today. I'm very proud if my oversight of your community is what helped make it possible.