In Memoriam

On Monday Lomblog introduced you to the comedy stylings of Frank Jacks, an innovative stand-up who has been favorably compared to both Lenny Bruce and Bruce Vilanch. Sadly, those visiting the site since then were logging on to what was ultimately one of Jacks' last performances.

Last night, Frank appeared at Chuckleni's, a New Jersey nightclub believed to be one of the last significant outposts of Mob influence in the Northeast. In a blistering 3-hour set, Frank discussed possible Mafia involvement in the Kennedy assassination, the Hoffa disappearance and the axing of John Stevens from "American Idol." After the show, according to witnesses, he was met in the parking lot by three unidentified men in dark clothing clutching lead instruments. The exact circumstances of his murder/suicide are still murky, but his last words are believed to have been, "Who's about to kill me - Sammy 'The Bull' Gravano's car pool?"

Frank Jacks, comic genius - now he belongs to the ages.

The search for guest bloggers continues...

S.O.
Assistant to Mr. Fan

On The Edge

With today's special guest blogger, outlaw comic Frank Jacks

Hey. Nice site. But who picked this template - Dick Speck's art teacher? Heh heh. No, I'm kidding. Great little blog here. Let's just hope John Ashcroft doesn't find out about it.

So how is everyone tonight? Oh, that's right - you can't respond. Well, I've had worse crowds. In Smyrna, Georgia for instance. Talk about bad crowds. I looked out at a sea of mullets and said, Who books this place - Jack Ruby's personal trainer? Heh heh. Can you believe that no one got that? I'm just lucky I got out of there without being lynched.

Watch CNN a lot when I'm on the road. Pretty depressing. So much happening, what with the war and the soldiers and Al Queda, and Bush not being able to pronounce things. I look at it all and I sometimes think there's an invisible man at the end of the galaxy writing a script that all of us are following unconsciously. And I just throw up my hands and say, Who came up with this s***? - Genghis Khan's yoga instructor? Whoever that invisible man is, I just hope he isn't hired out by Microsoft and the KKK.

Relationships are trouble too. Dated a Vietnamese girl recently. Bit difficult, because of the language barrier. First time I saw her apartment, I said, Who picked these curtains - Chiang Kai Chek's home ec teacher? She just kind of stared at me blankly and asked to be returned to her family. Oh well. I just hope I don't get reported to Amnesty International.

Thanks a lot. You've been a great reader. Enjoy the rest of the blog and watch out for stray bullets from the grassy knoll.

F. Jacks