Debate Aftermath

Ye olde devoted reader(s), oh how I've missed you! I'm now back from three days of detainment in Coral Gables, Florida - site of the first presidential debate and by strange coincidence, the latest federally designated disaster area. Since the Bush-Kerry face-off Thursday night, initial impressions have gelled and then hardened - and as you know, it's hard work getting impressions to harden. Who won? Well, I had seats close to the stage, so I was a bit distracted by Mrs. Heinz-Kerry's constant snuff-chewing. But most polling has given Massachusetts' junior senator a discernable "bounce". And for the Kerry campaign, this has to be the biggest break since TBS stopped showing Munsters reruns.

Most experts and many viewers seem to believe the Senator came off more "presidential" than the president. But I believe there was an extra dimension to Mr. Bush's performance - in fact, he was downright "presi-dimensional". Yes, there's probably never been a greater display of presi-dimensia in all of American political history.

How did the president do? Almost from the beginning it seemed like he was on the defensive, displaying the body language of Bambi's mom after hearing the hunters approach:




Still, he wasted no time reminding the audience of his major accomplishment: holding office through a succession of tragedies. Terrorism dominated the discussion; an apt subject matter, given gaps in Bush's 90-second responses large enough to drive a truck bomb through. Let's hope our public transportation is less vulnerable to derailment than the president's train of thought.

The candidates went back and forth on the Iraq war. Kerry argued that the president failed to build a broad international coalition, relying largely on the help of Great Britain and Australia. To which the president interjected: "Actually, you forgot Poland." Now, under the rules, the candidates were not allowed to question each other directly. Too bad, as it would've been interesting to see Kerry ask, "Mr. President, exactly how many Poles does it take to help us in Iraq?" (Answer: thirty to guard the oil in the pipeline, forty to keep the others from huffing it).

I can't wait for the next debate on Friday, and neither can the people of Florida, who are anxious to learn which candidate is a strong, decisive leader that will help reconstruct their porch.