The Amish Vote

Lombaire Fan is feeling a bit blue these days, perhaps suffering from post-party-convention depression. So he turns things over - briefly - to one of his longtime assistants, the Hack Comic.

Yello? Yello? Terror alert! Terror alert! Kidding...hopefully.

Maybe you missed it, but I happened to catch this article last night about the Bush campaign reaching out to Amish voters, as seen here:



I think this strategy makes a great deal of sense. Not only do the Amish mostly live in crucial battleground states like Ohio and Pennsylvania, they're probably the only people in America for whom the Iraqis look to be livin' large. Plus, most Amish haven't been to the movies since "Witness", so it's very unlikely they've seen Fahrenheit 9-11.

Naturally, Amish jokes have long been a staple of any hack comic's repertoire. So, moved by the spirit of Frank Jacks and with inspiration from past elections, I present my latest web poll:

Amish Outreach? What's the best campaign slogan to woo Amish voters? Let's Get America Churning Again Progress, Schmogress! A Reformer Without Electricity Building A Bridge To The 19th Century A Chicken In Every Pot, A Buggy In Every Shed Are You Better Off Than You Were A Fortnight Ago? It's Mulching Again In America Current Results

Vote early and often, until there's a clear winner or this post is knocked off the front page. And be good to LF, folks; he's been good to you.