This week, Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ once again claimed the top crown at the box office, beating out (appropriately enough) last week's #1, Hellboy. Yes, after more than a month of wide release, the Passion phenomenon shows no sign of abating. Now, normally, I don't care too much for box office statistics; certainly, Lombaire didn't. Except I consider myself very fortunate, for a few weeks ago, I scored one of the earliest interviews with the film's principal character and spiritual inspiritation as he began a massive publicity tour across the United States.
I met Jesus Christ at his room in the Grand Hyatt Hotel, conveniently located in midtown Manhattan. Trim, bearded, and standing a little over 6' feet tall, he looked every inch the blessed, 33-year-old savior who had died for the world's sins.
Mine would be the fifth print interview conducted with Jesus that day but certainly not the last. He had already spoken with Le Monde, The Christian Science Monitor, The Village Voice (which pressed him hard on his Iraq stance), and Rolling Stone (who asked him to pose for the cover of its "Who's Hot?" issue with actress Brittany Murphy; he declined). He also had a busy schedule of TV appearances lined up, as seen in the accompanying portrait.
Of course, I've been around big stars before, stars that commanded everyone's attention with their mere physical presence; Pam Dawber comes to mind. But I've never seen a celebrity whose physicality literally lit up a room the way Jesus did. Just to ease the pressure, I began our conversation with a bit of light banter:
LOMBAIRE FAN: You know, I really don't think you can prepare too much for an interview like this. One thing I've been struggling with all day: how should I address you? Is it alright if I call you "J-Chri"?
JESUS CHRIST: (Laughs) You'd be surprised by how many people have used that line, just in the few hours since I started this thing.
LF: Well, forgive me for being unoriginal...you must get that a lot too, eh? "Forgive me"?
JC: (unsmiling) No.
LF: Well, let's talk about the film. I have to confess I haven't seen it yet.
JC: No sweat. I understand the lines are very long.
LF: Well, I tried to see the film but I was in Times Square, I thought I was going to see it and I ended up seeing The Passion of the Christophers, which was a completely different kind of film.
JC: Oh...the kind of film that was played in Babylonia perhaps?
LF: Yes, perhaps. Strangely enough, this film was
also in Aramaic, which I was kinda impressed by.
So, speaking of that, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?
JC: Oooh. I was afraid this would come up.
LF: That's what she said!
JC: What?
LF: Uh, never mind.
JC: Well, as you can imagine, I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. But I do have friends that are homosexual, just as I have friends who are whores, thieves and money-changers.
LF: But surely you're not lumping them all into the same boat?
JC: Of course not. Who do I look like - Noah?!
LF: (Laughs) It's fascinating to hear you say that though, because as I understand it, 10% of the population is gay. So that means that out of the 12 apostles - if I'm doing my math correctly - almost 1 and a quarter were gay.
JC: (Chuckles) I never asked. I mean, I needed all the help I could get, and those guys were there for me. Mostly.
LF: Which brings up another touchy subject. As you know, a lot of people have said the film is anti-Semitic. How do you take those accusations?
JC: It hits me pretty hard, I have to admit. As everybody knows, I come from a Jewish background. And I've never tried to deny it or run away from it in any way.
LF: Unlike some in the entertainment industry.
JC: Well...you said it, not me.
LF: But if the film's not anti-Semitic...surely it's not exactly pro-Semitic, is it, Jesus?
JC: Hey, look, it tells my story as truthfully as it can. And reality intrudes somewhat. You can only sugarcoat things so much. I mean, let's get real here: Judas Iscariot was not a Swede. It takes place in Israel, so what do you know...there are Jews in it! And some of them are good and some are bad.
LF: Understood. Another controversy, this one unrelated to the movie, that I just have to ask you about: did you really tell Pat Robertson that Bush would win "in a walk"?
JC: I did say that but that comment has been completely misinterpreted. That was late December; everyone thought Bush was going to win in a walk. But things have changed. Right now, if I had to bet - and if betting weren't an insidious invitation to mortal sin - I'd give Kerry the edge, as long as he can take advantage of the outsourcing issue in the critical Midwestern swing states like Ohio, Michigan and Wisconsin.
LF: How do you vote?
JC: I don't, actually. Obviously, I don't lack interest; I'm just soo busy. I'm kinda everywhere at once and part of everything...it's hard to find the time. But I do like some of the things Dennis Kucinich has been saying. In fact, if I could arrange such things, I'd intervene and help him find a missus.
LF: You can't arrange such things?? There goes my next question!
JC: Oh, your time will come.
LF: Good to know. Ok, one more for the road: what has the reaction to you on the streets been like?
JC: It's been great. People come up to me and say things like, "You da man, Jesus!" or "13 years sober - and it's all because of you." It gets a little wild with some of the older ladies but that's ok.
LF: Bit of a Tom Jones reaction, huh?
JC: (Laughs) Heh...I guess.
LF: Well, Jesus, it was a pleasure talking to you.
JC: Likewise.
LF: And I hope you come back.
JC: I will. But not to New York. (winks)
