LF At Cannes!

Heads up, Lomblog-aholics - I've landed on the shores of the cinema-lovers paradise, in the homeland of Lombaire himself! Yes, I'm writing to you live (unless you're reading this after it's published) from the Cannes Film Festival. Unfortunately, I got here a little late - I always have passport issues - so I happened to miss last night's highly anticipated first screening of Michael Moore's Farenheit 9/11. No big whoop - I'm sure I'll see it on the plane next time I fly with the Saudi royal family. But I did manage to do more than my fair share of star-gazing.

The beautiful but frail Penelope Cruz has been hitting the town, sans her ex-flame Tom. Frankly, while I don't wish ill on any celebrity romance, I was kinda glad to see those two split. To me, that whole Cruise-Cruz thing was just a little too incestuous. C'Mon, Tommy boy - I know there's a lot of kinks out there but this is Hollywood, not Chinatown! Speaking of big stars from the Eighties, I also saw Eddie Murphy, making the rounds for the new Shrek sequel. You know, even before the talking animal movies, I always loved Eddie. I was actually fortunate enough to go to one of his Christmas parties a few years ago. And whatever else you say about him, there's no doubt Eddie loves Christmas. Yes, I don't think there's anything in the world that he likes more than reaching into a stocking and pulling out a candy cane! SNAPS! OH NO, I did not! But seriously, no one would enjoy that joke more than Eddie himself fifteen years ago.

Also in attendance was Quentin Tarantino, who is actually heading up the jury that will judge this year's films. Quentin Tarantino as a jury head - now that is a fascinating concept, and I hope it inspires American Idol to impanel Courtney Love. And it's not just the film-makers who are here - some of America's best-known film-watchers have been crawling about too. Harry Knowles, the man who's issued so many "spoiler alerts" online, was spotted at one of Cannes' infamous nude beaches. Allow me to issue a spoiler alert of my own: Harry ought to think about changing the name of his site to the Ain't It Small News. I'm sorry, Harry - you deserve that after you ruined the ending of Passion.

Tomorrow, I hope to actually see some films, and maybe blackmail Roger Ebert into writing a forward to my next book. Til then....au revoir from the land of Lombaire!