The President's Speech

Well, flunk me out of journalism school, but I happened to miss President Bush's Iraq address tonight. Yes, I know this was a different kind of programming but I just haven't had a lot of patience with prime-time TV since "The Jerry Steinfeld Show" was canceled. Plus, I'm just now beginning to unwind from Sunday's flight back from France and the pre-departure interrogation (my bad, I thought there'd be an exemption from this "no-box-cutters" rule for people that are just trying to get the Cracker Jack prize out). What I did catch later was this clip of the President having a bit of trouble pronouncing "Abu Ghraib." Naturally, this has inspired a song:

You say 'Abu Ghah-rib'
And I say 'Abu Ghuh-rib'!

You say 'Abu Ghah-rib'
I say 'Abu Ghuh-rib'!

Abu Ghah-rib!
Abu Ghuh-rib!

Abu Ghah-rib!
Abu Ghuh-rib!

Let's blow the whole thing up!

I sure hope this post doesn't end up in Blogger Heaven, like so many of the others. My lawyers are going to need it for when that schmaltzy old ham Billy Crystal tries to steal this tune at next year's Oscars. Everyone that's reading this is a potential witness.

But really, I'm not sure what to think of this idea of demolishing the prison. On the one hand, the mere physical presence of Abu Ghraib is a living stain on the memories of Iraqis and Americans alike. On the other, if Ann Coulter marries OJ Simpson, where will they honeymoon?

Your friend in letters,

LF