Censored!

LF here - still in Cannes, still hobnobbing with the Beautiful People. Why, just this morning I saw Tom Hanks himself! Yes, the Tom Hanks, the man that put the "Turner" in Turner & Hooch! Tom Hanks - talk about a Big star, a man who's been down the Road To Perdition and is Bosom Buddies with Private Ryan himself! A Castaway who went out to The 'Burbs in Philadelphia and found he had Nothing In Common with...ok, that's about the extent of my Tom Hanks film knowledge. Truly, I did see him, and he really is one of the nicest stars in Hollywood. Almost five minutes passed before he told me to put the camera away while his family was eating, and trust me, I never lasted that long with Bobby Blake!

But as interesting as all that is, that's not why I'm posting tonight. You may have noticed that a number of technical difficulties have afflicted the Lomblog site in recent days: disappearing posts, missing pictures and incomplete archives. Now, I could pass all this off as our attempt to be "avant-garde" but anyone who wasn't born on the turnip truck yesterday can tell you what's really going on: intentional cyber-sabotage designed to muzzle my artistic voice! Let me draw the lines and connect the dots for those not in the know: Blogger is owned by Google. Google is owned by the Unification Church, which is headed by the Rev. Sun Yung Moon, who has donated billions of dollars to the Republican party. The Rev. Moon is also a member of the exclusive Bohemian Grove country club, and in all likelihood, has seen the President, the Vice President and Donald Rumsfeld naked. I'm not alleging a shadowy conspiracy to keep Lomblog down, but if I disappear from the face of the Internet for a few days, it won't be because I've gotten lazy or uninspired and couldn't think of anything to write; it'll be because powerful forces are working overtime to make me lazy, uninspired and unable to write.

Of course, it is a Worldwide Web, so Google is not the only flame in town when it comes to blogging. During my time at Cannes, I've already been approached by several European distributers who said they'd be happy to publish the site on their servers if I were to include more pictures of Avril Lavigne. It's nice to see the torch of artistic freedom is still burning brightly somewhere on the globe.